Friday, 19 August 2011

Bittersweet Cerebral Palsy

Amber can now sit up unaided. She is 6.5 months and has well and truly mastered it. She has now decided that she doesn't want to lie down to play!

This is a whole new experience for me. Will was almost 2 before he could sit unaided, and even then he was extremely wobbly. Amber rolls over, and has been doing since about 12weeks. Will was 13months the 1st time he did it!

Now I know you *SHOULDN'T* compare, but its so hard not to. Its natural to do it.

The past few days have been an emotional roller coaster for me, whilst I am so proud of Amber, and how shes coming on, its a bitter sweet celebration, and highlights the things Will struggled so hard to achieve!

When Will was a baby, before we knew about his CP, we used to say things like "ooh, I cant wait until he's running round." etc. But it never happened. With Amber, I want to say those things, but I daren't. I feel like a just cant jinx us. This even sounds silly to me, so I bet it sounds ridiculous to 'outsiders' but I just cant take any chances.

Part of me grieves for the milestones I didn't get to with Will, or rather, the fact that by the time he finally started to talk, it was met with relief rather than excitement.

I have thought about all of this a lot recently, and ever the optimist, tried to see the plus sides of it all. During my pregnancies, I suffered terribly with SPD,(Symphasis Pubis Dysfuntion) particularly when I was having Amber, and I couldnt carry Will, or lift him up and down the stairs. SO he had to do it himself! By the time Amber was born, he had mastered it completely! :)

I am hoping that having Amber will continue to bring Will on. and that Amber's development woon't be over-shadowed by these feelings!

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